The Cowboy with the Tiffany Gun
Mumsy hates guns. Percy does not. They go west, picking up a randy Harvey Girl on the way. Mumsy nurses an old flame who might be Percy’s father. And some cattle. Percy learns to be a cowboy. He breaks his Harvey Girl’s nose, then laughs. She looks so funny, see? He kills a woman and acquires her Tiffany gun, of title. He shoots it often. He’s quite a shot. The ear off a horse. The head off a turtle. And many people. The jokes never stop. Even when he endures many clichéd western calamities including snakebite. Twice.
There’s a “good” Indian named Custer. He dies, of course. Never fear, Mumsy gets a joke out of it. The ranch is saved, traitor found, western justice served. Percy’s quest to lose his virginity is even achieved when the Harvey Girl plays hard to get and he yanks the dreaded “L” word from his gut. Oh, and our hero finds an ax embedded in a tombstone that’s like the Holy Grail, because he himself has been inspired by Sir Percival. Imagine.
Short sentences are well-served in this vacuous novel. And maybe various bodily discharges. History isn’t. Characterization isn’t. I’d skip it. The movie, too.