X–Calibre: The Absurd Legend of Cantiger the Wizard

Written by Mark Parker
Review by Lisa Sweeney

 

In this spoof of Arthurian legend, an inept and unapologetically self-interested wizard’s apprentice named Cantiger steals spells from a powerful enchantress and decides to use his newfound skills to better his lot. He helps Orson, a naïve young pillier (squire), to pass a magical test to determine the rightful king of Loomis and sets himself up as Orson’s chief advisor. However, this course of action does not please Marina, a wicked enchantress who plots to assume the throne, or many of the more experienced “Riders” (knights), who object to following an untried boy. Instead of gaining the cushy sinecure he expects, Cantiger is stuck helping Orson subdue rebellious Riders while trying to avoid the vengeance of the evil Marina.

Humor is a very subjective thing. Unfortunately, I found this book to be very disappointing and not the least bit funny. The author’s caricatures of some Arthurian characters (particularly Marina, his version of Morgan le Fay) had some real potential, but his unceasing reliance on bad puns and scatological humor robbed the book of any amusement it might have held for me. The dialogue was all over the place in terms of style (for example, a female character is referred to on various occasions as “damosel,” “baby girl,” and “doll”), and there was no firm sense of time or setting.

To be fair, the best thing I could suggest would be to read a few pages before deciding to buy or read this book. The author’s brand of humor is very consistent throughout, and a short sample should tell you whether this is a book you want to read or avoid.